Why don't they like me as much as her? Interferring Inlaws!?
My boyfriend's parents seem to have "gone off" me and I don't know what the problem is! Here are the facts: Everything was fine when I first started dating him (Nov 2008). We had a long distance relationship as he was working in Portugal. Feb 2009 he decided he wanted to move back to the UK to be with me and began looking for jobs. I fully supported him with this however it was entirely his decision to move back, I didn't pressure him! June 2009 he left Portugal and we both rented a room in his parents house while we looked to buy a house. Everything was lovely and friendly. August 2009 his brother got a new girlfriend. Since then everything's changed. (Dec 2009 we bought a house and moved out) Here's a bit about this girl: - I've never found it this hard to get along with someone! - She point blank refuses to talk to me or my boyfriend, giving one word answers or just ignoring us completely, something which we both find highly irritating and very rude. - She got pregnant less than 3 months and to begin with was very irresponsible (drinking, drugs, smoking) - She doesn't do ANYTHING around their house instead sits in front of the TV while everyone cooks/cleans for her. - She's moved in however doesn't have to pay rent. My problem is that no matter what I do, his parents always seem to prefer this girl when (in my opinion) they shouldn't. I've tried very hard to get along with her however they seem to see it as MY fault we don't get along! Since we've moved out they've been round most days helping with decorating, that's great and I'm fully appreciative but their 'helping' consists of telling us how to decorate, what colours etc, it even went as far as them insisting we built a wall between the open plan kitchen/living area, something which both me and my partner liked about the house! This has calmed down since my boyfriend told them to stop but I can't help feeling slightly resentful that they treat us like children. We have a house, we are financially stable (temporarily crippled from moving expenses), we haven't got a baby on the way etc, the opposite to his brother who they completely leave alone! I don't know what to do! I can only think of a couple of reasons why they don't like me and they are pretty pathetic... 1/ They blame me for their son giving up his well paid job abroad (as I said, I had nothing to do with this decision) 2/ They think I am sponging off him because I'm a student (OK, I can see this one however I'm paying half the mortgage, I pay for food and household bills, any extra money I have goes on things for the house... I don't see that as sponging, obviously I can't pay for as many things as he can as I am on 1/10th of his salary but we've spoken about these things and he is happy with the way things are. Also this other girl is a student and sponges ridiculously off their other son who has very little money anyway) I'm beginning to tear my hair out here, I obviously have a problem with not being liked! :) Can anyone give me help with what to do? Or else just reassurance I'm not completely neurotic! mt75689, you're right, I can't think of 5 things, but I don't despise her. I do actually want a decent relationship with her as I believe there's a chance she might be nicer that what she's letting on. I've tried for 6 months and haven't really got anywhere. Would I try that hard for someone I despise?
Marriage & Divorce - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You are neurotic, lol....I mean that in a kind and reassuring way. If you stop comparing yourself to others, you won't feel like you're coming up short! His parent's opinions of you are less important than his...and he can't help who his parents are. Time to let it all go...you'll feel better. :)
2 :
Stop making this a computation and just live your life. Take their ideas as suggestions and do what you want. Treat the girl as if she was invisible, that's how she treats you, don't waste time on her. I have a feeling she won't be around too long. Stop torturing yourself about the lack of respect from his parents, it is their problem not yours.
3 :
Women sure know how to build a case against someone... One thing I know is that when you allow yourself to despise someone, it's almost impossible to find something good to say about them. Go ahead and try. Find 5 nice things to say about this girl ~ I bet you can't do it. The point of this exercise is so that you can see what you have become. You're angry, you feel as though you being treated unfairly, you believe yourself to be better than this girl, and you want your boyfriend's parents to acknowledge that. Your attitude is making YOU the problem, and it is affecting your perception of the situation.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Should the US decriminalize drugs
Should the US decriminalize drugs?
Ok so just to put this out there I dont use drugs, the only drug I use (i dont consider a drug) is weed. Coke, ecstacy etc are gross, they are unnatural feeling and its nasty. Anyway, back in 2001 Portugal's government decriminalized all drugs, if you get caught with a small amount you either get a small fine (no jail) or the option of receiving treatment for the problem. Drug distibutors will still get in trouble but not if its for personal use. Here in the US there are SOOO many people who are in jail for drugs who really don't need to be there. If we decriminalized drugs we would save alot of money. It worked for Portugal and all the statistics show that there is now a drop in drug usage. What do you think? Here is a link to the article so you can see for yourself : http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=portugal-drug-decriminalization
Law & Ethics - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No...
2 :
We have far too many retardo's now in our population. Legalizing drugs would just kill this nation even faster.
3 :
Yes, look back into American history during prohibition the surplus of organized crime that took place the countless killings. I agree with you entirely. Even prostitution should be decriminalized. Not only that people have failed to relise the lack of scientific evidence and legislation that went into making marijuana illegal. Im not a pot smoker im just saying it is ridiculous M lets say the guy was drunk instead of high you would still be in the same situation. But lets look at the bigger picture why did he run (because the substance is illegal) but he may have been charged with a hit and run, at most for the substance fined depending on how much he had in his possesion, and proplably lost his license. But if it where regulated like alcohol then his punishment would have been that more severe. No one is saying let people go and smoke in the street or while driving they are just saying decriminilze it and regulate it. Remember it is going to be easier for your child to get an eight ball of cocaine then it is for him/her to get a six pack of beer because of the unregulated black market.
4 :
It is rare for people in the US to serve prison time(maybe short stints in the county or city jail) for simple possession of a controlled substance. Most people in prison for drugs are in for distribution. Your example of portugal sounds like it is almost the same with the exception of the local jails. It will not reduce the number of inmates in prison and therefore not save much money at all.
5 :
Absolutely is should be legal.....and....it should be legal to commit suicide. People who want to engage in this WILL do it...regardless. In my opinion, the majority of the crime is attempting to circumvent the law to get it. They get it eventually, so....let them have it. If they kill themselves....oh well. If people are stupid enough to destroy themselves with this stuff, then who gives a sh!t if they kill themselves on it. It's one less toad out there we need to worry about.
6 :
People who do drugs do not care if it's legal or not. So making drugs illegal is not going to stop drug use among the populations. Some people are always going to find a way to get high. Why turn them into criminals if they are not doing anything harmful to anyone else?
7 :
Some people may abuse it, just how they have abused prescription drugs. I guess I different point of view since I was rear ended so hard because someone who was high on marijuana was too slow to react to stopping at a stop sign. I was barely 29 weeks pregnant and got rear ended so hard that my belly shook like jello. He did not pull over to see if I was ok but rather backed up and took off. I got his license plate number. The detective had his truck towed and found remnants of marijuana in his truck. 3 weeks later I had a premature baby because some idiot was not paying attention and getting high while driving and too scared to pull over. So thats my thought on legalization. Hope that gives you an insight on a victims standpoint. Take care!
8 :
Interesting article, but I hated how TWO podcasts auto-played simultaneously as soon as the page loaded. Clearly, it would be vastly better to follow their lead. Here, even if you WANT help with your addiction, you're told to come back in 9 months, because they don't have the resources to help everyone when they first show up. But I'm afraid the idea is very unpopular here.
9 :
We should legalize them but keep tabs on who uses them. Like, if you smoke (weed, coke, tobacco, etc) or use drugs your insurance premiums go up, you're unfit to raise children, and you're ineligible for welfare or other forms of federal aid. Every time a meth-head goes to the emergency room they're just squeezing another grand out of a tax fund as emaciated as they are.
Ok so just to put this out there I dont use drugs, the only drug I use (i dont consider a drug) is weed. Coke, ecstacy etc are gross, they are unnatural feeling and its nasty. Anyway, back in 2001 Portugal's government decriminalized all drugs, if you get caught with a small amount you either get a small fine (no jail) or the option of receiving treatment for the problem. Drug distibutors will still get in trouble but not if its for personal use. Here in the US there are SOOO many people who are in jail for drugs who really don't need to be there. If we decriminalized drugs we would save alot of money. It worked for Portugal and all the statistics show that there is now a drop in drug usage. What do you think? Here is a link to the article so you can see for yourself : http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=portugal-drug-decriminalization
Law & Ethics - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No...
2 :
We have far too many retardo's now in our population. Legalizing drugs would just kill this nation even faster.
3 :
Yes, look back into American history during prohibition the surplus of organized crime that took place the countless killings. I agree with you entirely. Even prostitution should be decriminalized. Not only that people have failed to relise the lack of scientific evidence and legislation that went into making marijuana illegal. Im not a pot smoker im just saying it is ridiculous M lets say the guy was drunk instead of high you would still be in the same situation. But lets look at the bigger picture why did he run (because the substance is illegal) but he may have been charged with a hit and run, at most for the substance fined depending on how much he had in his possesion, and proplably lost his license. But if it where regulated like alcohol then his punishment would have been that more severe. No one is saying let people go and smoke in the street or while driving they are just saying decriminilze it and regulate it. Remember it is going to be easier for your child to get an eight ball of cocaine then it is for him/her to get a six pack of beer because of the unregulated black market.
4 :
It is rare for people in the US to serve prison time(maybe short stints in the county or city jail) for simple possession of a controlled substance. Most people in prison for drugs are in for distribution. Your example of portugal sounds like it is almost the same with the exception of the local jails. It will not reduce the number of inmates in prison and therefore not save much money at all.
5 :
Absolutely is should be legal.....and....it should be legal to commit suicide. People who want to engage in this WILL do it...regardless. In my opinion, the majority of the crime is attempting to circumvent the law to get it. They get it eventually, so....let them have it. If they kill themselves....oh well. If people are stupid enough to destroy themselves with this stuff, then who gives a sh!t if they kill themselves on it. It's one less toad out there we need to worry about.
6 :
People who do drugs do not care if it's legal or not. So making drugs illegal is not going to stop drug use among the populations. Some people are always going to find a way to get high. Why turn them into criminals if they are not doing anything harmful to anyone else?
7 :
Some people may abuse it, just how they have abused prescription drugs. I guess I different point of view since I was rear ended so hard because someone who was high on marijuana was too slow to react to stopping at a stop sign. I was barely 29 weeks pregnant and got rear ended so hard that my belly shook like jello. He did not pull over to see if I was ok but rather backed up and took off. I got his license plate number. The detective had his truck towed and found remnants of marijuana in his truck. 3 weeks later I had a premature baby because some idiot was not paying attention and getting high while driving and too scared to pull over. So thats my thought on legalization. Hope that gives you an insight on a victims standpoint. Take care!
8 :
Interesting article, but I hated how TWO podcasts auto-played simultaneously as soon as the page loaded. Clearly, it would be vastly better to follow their lead. Here, even if you WANT help with your addiction, you're told to come back in 9 months, because they don't have the resources to help everyone when they first show up. But I'm afraid the idea is very unpopular here.
9 :
We should legalize them but keep tabs on who uses them. Like, if you smoke (weed, coke, tobacco, etc) or use drugs your insurance premiums go up, you're unfit to raise children, and you're ineligible for welfare or other forms of federal aid. Every time a meth-head goes to the emergency room they're just squeezing another grand out of a tax fund as emaciated as they are.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
As an American citizen, how easy is it to move/live/work in and through the European Union
As an American citizen, how easy is it to move/live/work in and through the European Union?
Especially in Southern European countries such as Portugal, Spain, or Italy
Immigration - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
On a scale from 1-10 1being super easy, IMHO it'a about a 3. just check with that countries embassy about visa procedures for US citizens. Most countries allow work visas for at least 3 months. Otherwise you can travel without any paperwork to most countries with just a US passport. In the EU it is easy to travel between borders. GOOD LUCK!
2 :
Technically you need a visa before traveling to most EU countries with the intent of staying more than 90 days. On a side note, if you don't have a job already lined up, you should wait until you can at least tentatively arrange some form of employment as most businesses prefer to hire nationals of their own country.
3 :
as an US citizen? you can enter the schengen zone visa free for 90 days but not more,if you were to work? you would need a job ahead to going get a work permit and then allowed to stay.
Especially in Southern European countries such as Portugal, Spain, or Italy
Immigration - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
On a scale from 1-10 1being super easy, IMHO it'a about a 3. just check with that countries embassy about visa procedures for US citizens. Most countries allow work visas for at least 3 months. Otherwise you can travel without any paperwork to most countries with just a US passport. In the EU it is easy to travel between borders. GOOD LUCK!
2 :
Technically you need a visa before traveling to most EU countries with the intent of staying more than 90 days. On a side note, if you don't have a job already lined up, you should wait until you can at least tentatively arrange some form of employment as most businesses prefer to hire nationals of their own country.
3 :
as an US citizen? you can enter the schengen zone visa free for 90 days but not more,if you were to work? you would need a job ahead to going get a work permit and then allowed to stay.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Im planning to study in the US and after live there. What do I need to have to work there after
Im planning to study in the US and after live there. What do I need to have to work there after?
I currently live in portugal
Immigration - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
A student visa is a non immigrant visa ...you do your course and leave ... you can try to find employment ... but with the few jobs available .. experience is wanted ..not new grads
2 :
You need an employer to sponsor you. Without an employers sponsorship,you cannot live here or work here after your studies are over.
I currently live in portugal
Immigration - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
A student visa is a non immigrant visa ...you do your course and leave ... you can try to find employment ... but with the few jobs available .. experience is wanted ..not new grads
2 :
You need an employer to sponsor you. Without an employers sponsorship,you cannot live here or work here after your studies are over.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)